Y is for YES!

Tommy is not a yes-man. He doesn't jump at every chance to do everything ever. He thinks through every choice, every decision, every thought.

I am not this way at all.

This year we welcomed Otis into our family. A tiny kitten that a friend gave us. I have known that I've wanted a second cat for a while. And now is the time. It took me MONTHS to talk Tommy in to it. I took him to the humane society, I fostered kittens, I showed him pictures of kittens on the Internet. And all along he's said: I don't know, now doesn't really seem like the right time.

So when it came time to get a second cat, I agreed to it, and went home and told Tommy: we're getting a second cat, he will be here the day we get back from our wedding, and here's a picture of him. At that point Tommy got on board.

But it's been this way for every decision. Should we get a dog? Should we get a new car? Should we plan a trip? Should we go out tonight?

Half the time I just make the decision and he chooses to get on board. Later he'll tell me: this was a good choice.

And the other half the time we linger in in-decision and nothing gets completed.

I do not live the way Tommy does. I give into to every impulse. If I want something, I get it. I will agree to almost anything: Let's get dinner! Let's stay out late!

So sometimes Tommy and I struggle. I want to do things NOW he wants to wait for the RIGHT TIME. I think there is no right time, we have to live! He thinks now is too soon, let's wait.

There is room for both of us in this relationship, and we will continue to work to find a way to negotiate the space between yes/no/now/later.