What I Learned About Loneliness (Week 3)

As I've already discussed, I experienced a lot of change in 2019. Throughout the year and all the changes, I also experienced a lot of loneliness. For those who know me, I'm not a particularly lonely person. In fact, I hardly remember ever feeling lonely as a kid or adolescent. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never been lonely before, but experienced it in a new way over the last year or so. Since I don't really have a natural bent to loneliness, I had lots to learn about it. Here's what I learned about being lonely:

1. Loneliness is an internal state of being; it doesn't have a lot to do with your environment - I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, and I do my best to spend time with them as often as I can. I definitely don't feel like I have no one in my life. However, you can have a lot of people in your life and still be lonely. This isn't a new concept, but I experienced that in a new way this year.
   
   
2. We respond to loneliness differently at different moments in our lives - Whenever I've felt lonely in the past, my first inclination has been to seek out lots of people; to fill myself up with the joyous energy of other people. This last year or so, my inclination has been to withdraw and ponder the world by myself. I'm not really sure if one is better or worse than the other, but it has made me think more about how I respond to loneliness - how I want to respond as well as how I should respond. It's also made me more thoughtful about addressing loneliness in others; to be more aware of what people might actually need in a moment of loneliness.
   
3. Loneliness can be hard; but it's also okay to be lonely - Even if it's not fun, feeling lonely is okay. When you feel alone, it can give you the time and space (even if you don't want it) to be with your thoughts and really connect with your life. It can be a catalyst to make important choices that lead to positive change in your life. There can be a danger to wallowing in loneliness, but there is also an opportunity for growth, change, and awakening. Being lonely is okay.