I am not a flexible person. I like to be on time, I like to have a routine, I like to know what to expect in the next hour, day, week, and year. There is no greater transgression than changing a plan.
Ironically, change was the theme of my life this year. I transitioned into a new role at work, took on new clients, moved back to my hometown, and am 34 weeks pregnant with my first kiddo.
Being pregnant forces you to learn all kinds of things. It includes the things you would normally think of, like learning about labor and delivery, newborn care, and parenting advice from all humans, regardless of their credentials. But it also includes some unexpected lessons.
For me, the most wonderful lesson to date is learning to be a more flexible person. This came through my experience with morning sickness. At about 6 weeks, I started throwing up every day. Some days it was as soon as I got up, then I could go about my day. Some days it was after I tried to exercise and I drank some water. Other days it was a slow onset and took a long time to shake. I never knew when I went to bed whether I would wake up to a relatively normal day that would just have a slight hiccup or if my day would be completely overtaken by nausea and discomfort. There were a couple of days that I had to take time off of work because I could barely get out of bed without throwing up (which, side note, made me learn about how fortunate I am that I’m in a job that lets me do this without penalty, and I feel for my fellow women that risk pay or employment under similar circumstances).
Shortly after the first time I had to stay home, I was sharing this with my therapist, and I told her that I didn’t feel guilty or like a horrible person for staying home sick because I LITERALLY couldn’t get out of bed. Plus I finally cared about something more than my work and my “always put together and on top of things” reputation. If my fetus was telling me we needed a lie in, then I was going to listen to him and screw work. My therapist, who doesn’t normally react to things I share with her, cried because it was one of the first times I genuinely felt zero guilt for a broken plan and for putting my family’s health and well-being before my work and my schedule.
I have practiced being flexible and embracing this new fluidity in life for several months now. I still get upset sometimes when a plan gets disrupted, but I now have an example of what it could look like if I didn’t care about the things that I can’t control or a change in priorities when the change is truly for the better. It’s a freeing time and a weird time, and I hope I remember this lesson when the baby comes and changes all plans all the time.
~ Kelsi Gilkey
Ironically, change was the theme of my life this year. I transitioned into a new role at work, took on new clients, moved back to my hometown, and am 34 weeks pregnant with my first kiddo.
Being pregnant forces you to learn all kinds of things. It includes the things you would normally think of, like learning about labor and delivery, newborn care, and parenting advice from all humans, regardless of their credentials. But it also includes some unexpected lessons.
For me, the most wonderful lesson to date is learning to be a more flexible person. This came through my experience with morning sickness. At about 6 weeks, I started throwing up every day. Some days it was as soon as I got up, then I could go about my day. Some days it was after I tried to exercise and I drank some water. Other days it was a slow onset and took a long time to shake. I never knew when I went to bed whether I would wake up to a relatively normal day that would just have a slight hiccup or if my day would be completely overtaken by nausea and discomfort. There were a couple of days that I had to take time off of work because I could barely get out of bed without throwing up (which, side note, made me learn about how fortunate I am that I’m in a job that lets me do this without penalty, and I feel for my fellow women that risk pay or employment under similar circumstances).
Shortly after the first time I had to stay home, I was sharing this with my therapist, and I told her that I didn’t feel guilty or like a horrible person for staying home sick because I LITERALLY couldn’t get out of bed. Plus I finally cared about something more than my work and my “always put together and on top of things” reputation. If my fetus was telling me we needed a lie in, then I was going to listen to him and screw work. My therapist, who doesn’t normally react to things I share with her, cried because it was one of the first times I genuinely felt zero guilt for a broken plan and for putting my family’s health and well-being before my work and my schedule.
I have practiced being flexible and embracing this new fluidity in life for several months now. I still get upset sometimes when a plan gets disrupted, but I now have an example of what it could look like if I didn’t care about the things that I can’t control or a change in priorities when the change is truly for the better. It’s a freeing time and a weird time, and I hope I remember this lesson when the baby comes and changes all plans all the time.
~ Kelsi Gilkey
Dearest Kelsi :)
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you and your new life experience! I love that you are the same amazing, strong Kelsi that we've always known! I love that you even have a therapist, that neutral ear that can help you navigate the tricky times... we appreciate all the parents of our girls through the years that we learned so many elements, the dos (and some don'ts) of raising a child! Thanks so much for sharing your experience!!! Xoxoxoxo